Ya know when BB sent me new blogs to review I was
prayinghoping for something good. I should know better than to waste my time, huh?? WTF was I thinking? Something good? Submitted here? Not likely. Sadly we get all the kooks and wannabe bloggers submitting here. They think getting a few clicks from our readers will make them “famous”. Give them their 15 minutes in the spotlight. Good news for you folks. I’m shutting off my spotlight. Saving the batteries for something more useful, like BB’s vibrator.I have had this blog in my “TO DO” box for awhile now. I’m a procrastinator. Sue me. Actually, I’ve been scoping it out weekly. Hoping. Alas, some things just aren’t meant to be.
I really do not like this blog, for various reasons.
The header looks like some funky chunk of 70’s throw up, mixed in with letters that are impossible to read. Designed to really fuck with your brain. It’d be one hell of an acid trip.
The font is too small. If I have to get my glasses to read it, it ain’t worth reading.
The sidebar. OMFG. Do not get me started on the sidebar. Ever hear of “rolling” it up??? Srsly. There is too much clutter.
No one gives a fuck that you have archives dating back to January 2007.
No one gives a fuck that you have 26. YES! TWENTY SIX categories. That just shows you can’t make up your fucking mind. 26. Geez. I can’t believe I took the time to count them. I need a life.
Oh?? Did I mention there are 20 “daily” reads too?? Srsly. If I wanted to know this stuff I could have hit a little “expand” on a rolled up sidebar. Sidebar clutter fucks you up, everydamntime.
The content is not that bad. While it’s typical family blogging, the writing style does not totally suck. Not my cup o’ tea, but I’m sure someone likes it.
Hmmm, just because I’m feeling generous… I give it 
PS. Honey - I’d pay money to see your husband out in the back yard in his boxers listening to his NKOTB cassettes. Really. Put that in the hideously huge Flickr photos at the top.
O.K. screwheads, BB talked me into abusing my eyes with the crap you people seem to think passes for decent web content again, so I’m back—initially for a limited engagement, but I may be convinced to make it regular if I like enough of what I see. Unfortunately for you mouth-breathing wannabes, I’ve been unable to speak since January due to chronic bronchitis; patience is no longer in my vocabulary.
Never before has a blog title been so dead accurate. This waste of server space is such a train wreck that I hardly know where to begin…
Given the 1920s style fonts, borders fashioned from crime scene tape and recurrence of Sam Spade knockoffs, I can only assume Mr. Fab’s trying to establish a kind of “blog-noir” atmosphere. I got news for ya buddy: noir is the raw Black and White of Idealism contrasting against Reality’s Shades of Gray, counterpointed by the Bright Red Blood of the Last Idiot Who Crossed Me! not baby-poo green against brown tones with cartoon bunnies in the header art!
A blogger’s “Profile” should be 2 or 3 short! sentences that briefly outline why this blog might be worth the reader’s time. Mr. Fab’s is an overly-wordy, patently insecure plea for mercy that inexplicably morphs into a cheap shot against Edie Brickell—who, it is worth noting, released an album with some of the original “New Bohemians” in 2006, and is a member of the band “Heavy Circles” which released its debut album last month.
So much for her dead career.
The sidebar is WAAAAY too freaking long, and having ten posts on the front page is at least 3 posts too many.
Mr. Fab, I hope you didn’t pay money for this.
As for content, Mr. Fab’s claim that:
You won’t find anything profound here.
is nothing short of prophetic.Mr. Fab has to be the only idiot on the face of the blogosphere who can turn a post about the inimitable Dave2 of Blogography into a limp-wristed sack of fail. Combine this with his half-baked attempts at controversial “rants” about abortions, POW license plates, and nudity immediately after whinging about an apparent Herpes infection, and everything he says comes across as a load of BAWWWW!
And, lest we forget, he’s running a HubLove contest as well as a
show me your boobsI-wish-I-was-cool-enough-for-HNT match-the-blogger-to-her- (his?) -cleavage contest.Give this weenie a wide berth.
I am writing this for our two remaining IT2M readers and because I am tired but I can’t sleep. Thanks to sites like these and a severe lack of net drama, it is what it is.
1. Fida, Inc.
I’m not sure where Fida lives, but she was present when a police officer was killed and that is sad, regardless of the country. Period. Here template is almost cute. In FF it slides clear over to the left side on my laptop and in FF and IE on my dinosaur it is huge and I have to use the bottom scroll. I hate the bottom scroll.
Fida has been blogging for a long time. She is rather average in that respect. Ordinary posts of what seems to be a humble girl.
I give it 
for not completely sucking ass.
I LOVE HIS HEADER! It reminds me of a sunset I saw once with my first fiancee, but I won’t hold that against him. WD is a troubled man working through his feelings and depression and life in general. He also writes poetry. I have never really been a fan of poetry. Limericks, but not so much with the deep stuff. I am shallow and I admit it. I don’t love him and I don’t hate him. I’d have to read some more to decide completely but right now I am tired and bored.
I give it
3. Mamarazzi
I had high hopes for this blog. I’m all about snark. I was really looking forward to snark re hollywood parents, especially with the tag line “Because Celebrity Parenting is so Easy to Snark.” Sadly. I found little snark here and mostly dry statements accompanying photographs. I don’t even think half the entries relate to hollywood parenting. Some good photos and some that make me wretch.
I’m bored.
I give it 
One of these blogs didn’t suck ass. The other one sucked some amount of ass. The other other one was just an ass sucking pile of blog shit. You pick which is which.
I actually like the template except the archives. I don’t want a calendar. I want a list of months that I can click on. I want it easy. I don’t want to have to search for things or click click click to find the first blog entry. I’m nosy and I’m lazy. At first I thought the black template would be a turn off, but as a whole, I kinda liked it. I wasn’t gouging out my eyes and that is always good. I almost like this blog. Three things won me over in the end. 1) They deep fried their turkey on thanksgiving and she posted a cinnamon roll recipe; 2) She is a Libra and so am I (and she had the boys to get tattoo’d - which I don’t, but if I did, it would be with my sign); and 3) She doesn’t seem to take herself or her blog seriously. Her posts are a little long and dry sometimes, but if you’d rather be reading blogs than say, cleaning or working, give her a look.
I give it 
for not sucking.
where have you been? Who gives a shit? I trudged through this blog and post after post tried to find something, anything that wouldn’t leave me longing for an IV drip of caffeine so I could look at the next page. Mad has been blogging for a good long time so at least he has that. I’m sure he has something of interest for someone, but he left this bitch hangin in the wind. BOTD template, an archive list that trails on and on. I have a code to close that up into a drop down menu window if he wants it. Everyone should utilize a drop down menu for anything longer than five lines. Just sayin.
I give it
The internet gods hate me. Ron has a sidebar longer than most schlongs and sadly, it is limp. This is a boring, ugly blue BTOD template and it does not interest me in the slightest. I looked and looked for something, anything that wouldn’t make me want to stare at my own excrement and I came up empty, wishing for some starving children or midget porn.
I give it
I think the internets have diarrhea. The clingy stuff that doesn’t flush.
I don’t really get it. Really. He had a nice play on the “about you” section. Then he wrote “frickin” and lost me. It’s fuckin or fucking. Not frickin. Never ever ever frikin. Are we ten years old? No.
The layout was nice and the template doesn’t make my eyes bleed.
Otherwise, I’m bored as hell.
I give it
I liked the header. The layout was clean. Janet moved from Nevada to New York and likes to write. Otherwise, literally speaking, whatthefuckever.
I give it
“A Christian lesbian with a whole lot to say!” And ads.
I give it
